December 19

Tonight we went to a Christmas party where they played the "white elephant" game. I had Rod stop by Home Depot and pick up a $5.00 toilet seat. As I was seaching for a picture of a toilet seat on the internet for this post, I found one that was over $1000 (the bottom one). I mean really, people - who wants to sit on a $1000+ toilet seat!!!

Anyway, the point of the story: our white elephant gift idea was a HUGE hit at the party. I enclosed this poem that I wrote with instructions to read it after the gift was opened. The poor guy that ended up opening the gift and reading the poem kept saying "I don't know if I can do this!" and he was just laughing so hard! People were all asking for a copy of it. I did not admit that I was the author, but just smiled and laughed with everyone else. It was so fun to see people get such a good laugh! Here is the poem:



The Week Before Christmas

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the room,
There were goodies and candies and food to consume.

I drank and I ate ‘til I thought I would pop.
Then I ate and drank more and I just couldn’t stop!

So I went to my bed to try sleeping a bit,
But my stomach was hurting; it just would not quit.

It growled and churned and then it did rumble.
I rolled out of bed, to the hall I did stumble.

I ran like the wind - to the bathroom I flew.
I switched on the light - it was then that I knew;

I’d eaten too much. I knew I would barf.
It was all my own fault – too much food I did scarf.

It happened so fast that I could barely think.
Should I try for the john, or just use the sink?

I did not know which of my ends to use first.
So I sat with a trash can expecting the worst.

It wasn’t much fun. I hate being sick,
Especially the week we’re expecting St. Nick!

I learned my lesson and have slowed down the eating.
So I leave you now with my own little greeting:

If you don’t learn from my story and too much you do eat,
At least you’ll have comfort with your new toilet seat.